IC inbox for duplicity

[definingfuture]

Tony's Mailbox.

Comments

[captenacious]

I...don't know how to answer that, to be honest. What was she helping you with?

[definingfuture]

She's Vice Director. What doesn't she do?
Unless that's supposed to be a joke. That's a bad joke, Steve.

[captenacious]

[ There's a pause. Maria hasn't been Vice Director of anything since.

Oh god. ]

Tony...are you still with SHIELD?

[definingfuture]

[ He feels the bottom drop out of his stomach. To him it sounds like judgment. ]

Not while I'm here. Trans-dimensional authority is for the cosmic defenders. Here it's just me. I think Strange might have some authority over something.

[captenacious]

That's not what I meant.

You know I'm not dead, right?

[definingfuture]

Well, I was hoping I wasn't just talking to myself this whole time. Then again, with people coming and going here, it's hard to tell.

[captenacious]

I'm serious. I wasn't dead then either.

[definingfuture]

They should give you an Oscar, then.
I was there.

[captenacious]

I got shot, yes. I didn't die.

It wasn't your fault.

[definingfuture]

Okay, who are you really?
What do you want from me?
It can't be influence. There's no influence or money to gain here, and there are plenty of other useful, willing dominants if that's what you're after.

[captenacious]

Tony.

Crossbones shot me on the Red Skull's orders. Unless you've turned into either of them when I wasn't looking, none of it was your fault.

audio

[definingfuture]

[He can't take it. The device switching to audio automatically.]

What the hell do you want from me?

[captenacious]

[ There's a pause before Steve's audio clicks on. ]

I want you not to feel guilty for something you didn't do.

[definingfuture]

[He wants to found threatening, but he's trembling and mostly coming off at the edge of hysterical.]

You know no one believes that, right? You don't believe that.

[captenacious]

I wouldn't say it if I didn't believe it.

[ He goes quiet again for a moment, just breathing. ]

I'll stop if you want me to. I don't want to hurt you, I really don't. I just...never got a chance to try to convince you before.

[definingfuture]

[He's having some genuine problems with reality now, because he doesn't understand the conversation. How can he be talking to Steve Rogers about his own death? And what's more, Steve is impossibly calm about the whole thing. It can't be real. It's got all the hallmarks of a delusion he's creating for himself, hearing things he wants to hear. But why would that start now?]

If you know so much about my reasons, then tell me why I did it. I told him. All of it. When we were alone.

[captenacious]

I. I'm sorry Tony, but I don't know what you're talking about.

[ He'd remember if Tony explained everything, wouldn't he? But but the time he'd seen Tony again, he'd already wiped his memory. ]

[definingfuture]

[It's an unreasonable expectation, but it helps Tony confirm that he's not just going insane talking to himself. Steve can't tell him about that pathetic night of excuses he'd given over his body, trying to convince himself it wasn't his fault then. He'd told Steve's lifeless body that it was for the best; that he had meant to save people.]

You were gone. I just... I didn't know who else to talk to. You can't tell me you weren't dead now. I saw it. It was really you.

[captenacious]

If I could explain it better, I would, believe me. But I wasn't dead. I was...unstuck in time, I guess.

[ There's an edge to his voice, like he knows exactly how ridiculous it sounds. ]

[definingfuture]

[It sounds ridiculous, but the kind of ridiculous just on the side of possible that makes Tony shake on his end of the devices. This might really be happening. This Steve might really be Steve from the world he knows, who for some unknown reason has decided to forgive him. It sounds impossible, but he's desperate.]

You- you sent me something... When you were gone.

[captenacious]

What, the shield? Who else was I gonna trust to take care of it?

[definingfuture]

No, not that.

[captenacious]

Wha-- oh, that letter?

[definingfuture]

Do you remember what was in it?

[captenacious]

I asked you to look after Bucky and that the mantle of Captain America had to continue. Didn't expect that you'd combine them, but you were always smarter than me. It worked out.